


Give Me Therapy

by Shanimal078



Category: All Time Low
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-09-05
Updated: 2015-05-15
Packaged: 2017-12-25 16:43:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply, Underage
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,812
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/955410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Shanimal078/pseuds/Shanimal078
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After a failed attempt to take his own life, Alex is forced to attend therapy, and is reluctant at even the thought, but it turns out in a way he wouldn't expect. Could his life be changed for the better?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Fucking therapy.

Alex had been adamant that he was okay, that it was just an accident, but his parents didn't buy a word of it. Then again, it's hard to lie when your folks find you unconscious on the bathroom floor from an overdose that can't have happened on its own.

It took a few weeks for Alex to physically and mentally recover, get back on his feet, and get out of hospital. The doctors and his parents had unanimously decided to keep him in the ward under close surveillance, which was torture. He couldn't even take a piss without being monitored through a microscope. The pills he had gulped down had very nearly shut his liver down, and put him at the risk in future of numerous conditions. He could kick himself for being so stupid. But Alex couldn't quite be sure if he had honestly been trying to take his life, or it was all just a cry for help.

So here he was, in the waiting room of some high end therapist's office. Alex's parents were paying through the nose for this, and it was just a waste of time. He wasn't going to spill his guts out to some pompous snob who gets paid to judge whether you're a whack job or not. It's not like they would care anyway. "They don't even know me, what interest would my life be to them outside of work?" Alex thought to himself.

"Mr. Gaskarth?" A sugary voice called from the front desk. His attention perked at the sound of his name, and he looked up at the receptionist.

"You can go in now, the doctor will be in shortly." The middle aged lady smiled, tucking a strand of deep red hair behind her ear. She grinned, showing immaculately white teeth. Alex nodded, and raised from the cushy chairs he'd been waiting on for a good half hour. Alex scanned the room, taking in every poster, flyer, and picture, but he was really only trying to prolong his going into that terrifying room. At last, Alex gripped the door handle, and with a defeated sigh, he entered.


	2. Chapter 2

Again, Alex waited. He waited about half an hour actually, flicking through the bookshelves, glancing out the window, but eventually, he just gave up trying to find a way of entertaining himself and settled his ass down.

Finally the sound of the door clicking shut perked his attention. Yet, he didn't draw his focus from picking at the frayed material of the couch he sat on. This was gonna be a long hour. Whoever came in mustn't have even noticed Alex sitting, as the man juggled his things in his arms, cursing rather loudly as his steaming hot coffee spilled onto his jeans. He hurriedly placed his things on the desk. After a few moments of organising his stuff, the man turned around, and caught sight of teenager sitting silently in his office.

"Hello, you must be Alexander. So sorry I'm late, I'm Dr. Barakat, and I'll be counselling you for the next few months." A friendly voice said. Nice to see he was so chirpy about the matter.

"Alex." He corrected harshly. Alex could see the outstretched hand held out towards him, but he didn't acknowledge it. The doctor gave a slight awkward cough, withdrew it, and moved to sit in the couch across from Alex.

"I can imagine you may be nervous and probably hate the idea of coming here every week. It can seem like a mind numbing waste of time, but I'm here to help you get better. I experience this with many of my clients on a regular basis, it's perfectly normal. But remember, I'm not going to tell anybody anything, what happens in this room stays in this room, Alexand-" Alex lifted his head and shot a glare towards Dr. Barakat. "Alex."

Though he hated to admit it, he was surprised at the fact this Barakat guy sounded generally caring through his spiel, and Alex couldn't help but smirk cynically to himself.

"Why would you care?" The teen shot back, hiding behind his dirty blonde fringe.

"Well, it's what I'm here for, I guess. It's my job." He started softly, "This is a career I always thought helps change the world, even if its just in a small way. People break past their issues and get their life going, and I've loved the idea of helping people fight their problems since I was a teenager." The Doctor said, smiling softly, and his voice sounded nothing other than sincere. At that, Alex lifted his head and focused his gaze onto the older man.

"So, Alex" Barakat started, making sure not to slip up this time. "Why are you sitting in my office today?

"Because my parents are forcing me to come here."

"It must be something pretty serious if you have no say in the matter." The doctor said, leaning forward slightly.

Alex took a moment to actually take the Therapists appearance in. "He looks like the sorta guy I'd run into at a Blink concert." Alex thought to himself. Barakat appeared to be quite young, probably only a few years older than himself, with a slight stubble that suggested he had been running really late today. His dark hair fell over his eyes, and was spiked in crazy directions. Barakat was also very tall, yet slightly lanky too, but it suited him. He wearing dark grey jeans, and a white dress shirt with a black tie. Alex thought it odd, he'd normally never seen a shrink without a yuppie suit and a stupidly large briefcase. The doctor had deep, chocolate brown eyes, that were boring into his own, as if he was searching for something beyond the surface. When he realised the older male was staring right back at him, Alex cleared his throat, and smoothed his fringe. When Alex realised he still hadn't answered, he shrugged.

"They think I tried to kill myself." Alex finally answered, mumbling as he stared into his lap and continued to pick at the couch.

"And did you?

That stung. "I don't know." Alex answered quietly, and he honestly didn't. The young boy wasn't sure if he'd had enough of all the pain and loneliness, or he just wanted somebody to see him there, to care and worry about him. There was a slight haze building in his vision at thinking about it, and he blinked hard, trying to force back the emotion cracking his walls. Alex wasn't going to cry here, not now, not ever. He refused to show weakness to this stranger. As nice as the Doctor may seem, it's only because he gets paid to be.

"Hey, hey, it's okay, we don't have to talk about that now, not until you're comfortable." Dr. Barakat consoled, leaning forward to try and catch the young boy's gaze. "Heck, I'm a complete stranger to you. How about today's session, you just fill me in on yourself? Let me know a little about Alex Gaskarth."

That sounded a little less terrifying.


	3. Chapter 3

The shrill sound of Alex's alarm lured him cruelly out of his slumber, and his enticing dream. There he was, onstage in front of thousands. Alex was perched on a wooden stool, lights dimmed, just him, the crowd, and his acoustic. His soft voice rang out through the hall, arms swayed as far as his eyes could see, and people sang along until their lungs gave out. There was nothing the teen wanted more than his music, it's all that kept him going nowadays. Every chance Alex got, he'd grab his guitar and just find somewhere secluded to play and write alone, it was a huge comfort for the young boy.

Alex huffed, bitter at the thought of being woken up. He squinted as his eyes fought to adjust in the harsh sunlight, seeping through his blinds. He hated mornings with a passion. Today was Tuesday, the second worst day of the week. Why? Because its the day after Monday, and it's still too far from Friday. Alex groaned as he stretched, cracking his aching back, then proceeded to roll out of bed. He tousled his hair a little, and looked around for some clothes to throw on. If Alex was quite honest, he really couldn't be bother to shower this morning. It was cold, and there was no showing evidence that he could do with one, so it couldn't hurt to wait until after school. His hair could've passed as a lion's mane at that current moment, almost as if Alex had been subjected to static for hours on end. That was first on his list of things to-do, fix the bird's nest.

Hunting through the mounds of clothing piles that were waiting to be put away on his desk, Alex decided to grab a white v-neck, a pair of ancient grey jeans, and his trusty red hoodie. Couldn't go wrong. Alex topped his outfit off with his black and white scarf, then decided to skip breakfast and leave early. It was only 7:40, and school didn't start until 8:35. Ever since he got home after therapy last night, his parents hadn't left him alone. Questions, questions, and more questions. All the boy wanted was time alone to think, and that's why he decided to take advantage of his time now, to go for a relaxing walk.

Therapy didn't turn out to be as bad as expected last night though. After the awkward tension shown from Alex at the start of the session began to die down, he relented and opened up a little to Dr. Barakat. Nothing personal, but he expressed his likes, dislikes, hobbies, and so on, and it turned out that Alex shared a quite a lot of common interests with the older man. They both loved playing guitar, and enjoyed the same music, it was small things like that. He was the most untherapist-like therapist he'd ever seen or encountered, but it was strangely comforting, and made the next week's session to come feel less daunting. But Alex knew that next time, it will be the important things that would come out of the woodwork.

Alex was as quiet as could be as he tiptoed down the stairs to the door. Of course, it creaked as he pulled it open, but Alex quickly stepped out and shut it swiftly, being hit with a chilling gust of wind that rattled him to the core. The crunch of snow against his high tops was all he heard as he proceeded to stroll along the sidewalk. The bitter cold gnawed at Alex's fingertips, ears, and nose, so he stuffed his hands into his pockets and walked quicker. "Maybe this was stupid" he pondered to himself, and decided to make for the local coffee shop instead, at least it was warm, only a fool would stay out in this. Luckily, the coffee store was only a short two minute walk from his place. It sat on the corner of Alex's street, and you could always smell the fresh coffee beans from down the road, it was delightful. Alex smiled as he smelled the air, and his mouth watered at the thought of a warm drink in this weather. The teen practically skipped up the steps and inside the store.

Alex waited at the counter for his cappuccino, watching the snow start to fall again outside. It was gonna be a harsh winter. He grabbed his order, thanked the barista, and rushed to sit back in his booth, strategically chosen by the fireplace. But that's when it happened. He collided head on with another customer waiting behind him, and they both went crashing and tumbling to the hard, wooden flooring. Hot coffee and all. And fortunately (for Alex), most of it spilled on the poor other person.

Alex was momentarily dazed, but gained his composure and hurried to lift his weight from the other man. And that's when Alex noticed, it was his god damn therapist. Not that he had any hard feelings towards the man after getting to know him a little yesterday, but it didn't mean he was up to bumping into him around town. That's just awkward.

"Dr. Barakat? Fuck, shit man, ugh, sir. I'm so sorry, let me help you." He stuttered, flailing slightly, before helping the other male off the now soaking floor. Not that it mattered, as his clothes were drenched. Alex waited for some form of scalding and anger, but the smirk on the tall therapist's face and the twinkle in his eye showed he drew amusement from the situation. Which was bizarre.

"Guess I'm gonna have to call in late, huh?" He chuckled, as he glanced down at his sopping, half brown shirt. Alex let out a slight laugh too, but he felt slightly guilty about the situation.

"I can't believe it, I'm so stupid sometimes. I am so sorry, Doctor." He blabbered, not being calmed by the fact that the other man seemed to find it all hilarious.

"Hey, don't worry about it, you were in a rush. Here, let me buy you another drink." The still smiling man offered, pulling out his wallet.

"Oh, no, you don't need to do that Dr. Barakat, it was my fault. Heck, I should be buying y-" Alex want to object, holding up his hands.

"Jack." The other man offered simply, as he moved past the teen to the counter, ignoring his protests. When Alex stared back, confused look present on his face, Barakat repeated himself.

"You can call me Jack. No need to be so professional towards me, I prefer to treat my patients more friendly, rather than professional, it makes for better trust and I find people find it easier to talk to me, which is what I want." And with that, Jack handed Alex his coffee, and proceeded to walk to a booth with his own. Alex wasn't quite sure if there was some kind of invitation to follow his therapist, but he did so regardless. He couldn't give you a reason why, other than it felt right to do. But Jack didn't seem to mind as Alex took a seat across from him, in fact, he welcomed it with a warm smile, and took a sip of his drink.

"So how are you today Alex?" Jack asked, rubbing his palms together in an attempt to warm himself up.

Alex gave a shrug, "Average, I suppose. On the verge of frostbite, and it just doesn't feel like school weather today. Would much rather be home in bed." He chuckled, as did Jack. Suddenly, something popped into his mind from yesterday. There was a slight hesitation, because he knew a question like that could cause offence.

"Um, Jack, without meaning to sound rude, how um...how old are you?" Alex asked, hiding behind his fringe again. That seemed to be a trait the seventeen year old had carried with him since he was a tyke; if you hide behind your hair, nobody can see you.

"Twenty six, it was my birthday last week actually. It's okay though, I get it a lot. Lemme guess, you're thinking, 'Wow, he's far too young to be in this profession', right?" And at that, Alex just grinned, shrugging his shoulders innocently, and proceeding to sip at his drink. They sat in silence for a few minutes, but it was far from uncomfortable. The males both seemed to be captivated with the light snowfall outside, covering the footprints on the path, and blanketing rooftops. It was rather beautiful actually, when you were watching from a warm place. Alex was pulled away from his thoughts when another foot caught his from under the table, and he looked up at Jack in confusion.

"Sorry, got a habit of kicking my feet." Jack laughed, "Nothing worse than doing that when you're at a meeting with your boss."

And for some stupid, ridiculous reason, Alex couldn't bite his tongue.

"Damn, I was hoping for a game of footsies." And for the first time in what had to be months, a childish quality was back in Alex, the type that cracked jokes, laughed honestly, and smiled with his eyes. He winked at the older man, tapping him back with his foot. That same sparkle returned to Jack's eyes, as he shook his head with a smirk.

Many minutes passed, and thank god, Alex happened to glance at the clock at the other end of the room, and cussed rather loudly when he saw the time. "I'm late, shit!" He grabbed his things from the table, and necked the rest of his drink before running out of the store. "Thank you for the coffee!" He yelled over his shoulder, and he was out he door and down the road.

"What the hell was that?"


	4. Chapter 4

Alex bolted towards school, heavy snowfall cutting sharply at his face as he ran, it honestly felt as if he was being bitch-slapped with this weather. If he was late much more, he would fail, and nothing could really be worse than being stuck at high school an extra year, it would ruin him.

As he rounded a corner, Alex couldn't help wonder what had happened back there. Where had this all come from? And why the hell was he being suddenly nice to his therapist? Alex spent days telling himself he would hate this man, but it seemed like he was that one exception. Jack was the main person he didn't want to tell anything to, yet the one who he feels he is on the verge of spilling his soul to. He didn't want to let him in, didn't want his parents to get anything on him, and he simply didn't want to be judged by another person. Yet it felt like any disdain had melted away, and he had to be kind and honest to the other man.

Alex shrugged it off as he ran up the steps into school, just as the bell for first period sounded, and bodies began swarming the halls. He jogged to his locker. And as Alex threw his bag inside, he joined it shortly after by a sharp punch to the spine. Bang. Alex's forehead collided with the top shelf, and fell to the ground in a painful daze. He was certainly seeing stars.

"That's gonna leave a mark." He thought to himself, groaning out in pain as his whole world span around before him.

The teen turned to see who'd delivered the blow, but they'd already taken off around the corner. Alex never understood why things like this happened to him, he kept to himself, didn't even have any friends, and yet people still found a way to make his life hell. What made him different? Alex picked himself of the floor, and pressed his fingers to his throbbing forehead. Okay, no blood. There was no point going to the nurse if you couldn't see any physical damage, otherwise she would simply dismiss you back to class. She was a real slut. Alex rolled his eyes, and carried on to class.

There was an exasperated sigh heard from the teacher as Alex stepped into Maths, and Alex took note of the middle aged man shaking his head as he fixed his glasses.

"Tardy again, Mr. Gaskarth." Mr. Andrews commented, disappointment lacing his voice, but crossing home the roll anyway. "Is there even a point in you attending school anymore?"

And he was justified in asking. Alex's attendance was under unacceptable and a basis to be failed on alone. Every one of his teachers had given up on trying to help him this last year because Alex had just stopped trying. Except his music teacher. Music was the only lesson that Alex truly adored, because it was his everything and he didn't really see it as school. Mr. Morrison would always let Alex go into the back room and play alone whilst the lesson took place, and he couldn't express his thankfulness for it. He had lost all friends and any acquaintances because nobody wanted to be dragged down by the famous drop kick that was Alex Gaskarth. It's not like it was intentional, he used to give everything his full back then. Then Alex slowly but surely gave up on everything.

See, Alex's parents were the sort to notice mistakes, but never achievements. A B+ was usually considered a great achievement for your average teenager, but not Peter and Isobel. Alex would bring home his school reports, beaming from ear to ear, but seemed to always get shot down and told to try harder, because it was never be good enough. He often felt like he was a disappointment to his parents, a burden that they couldn't get rid of, no matter how much they wanted to. Heck, the only reason they were keeping such hawk eyes on Alex as of late was because they wanted to 'fix' him. The thought of word getting out to their snobby social group that their only son was messed up couldn't happen.

That's when he started ditching class.

Alex would slip out from school, unnoticed, and go to his hideout in the local paddocks about half an hour from school. It was quiet, it was pretty, and he could just think and clear his head. It was his stress free zone. The 17 year old did most of his song writing there, and it was usually his best work. He wrote from the heart, and it's something Alex always prided himself on.

And boy, was it a temptation to just sneak away right now. But Alex knew for a fact that his parents would be notified straight away if anything seemed out of order with him, including his lack of being there. In fact, that'd probably be the number one concern. So Alex strolled to the only free seat in the class, at the back thankfully, and threw his things on the desk as he parked himself down. Alex scanned the room for a familiar face, but found nobody. Yet it seemed everybody knew his, and after taking a lovely long stare, students returning their scrutinizing gazes back to the front. Some even laughed. The teenager rolled his eyes, with an irritated groan. He was that kid. Before, people wouldn't talk to him purely because they didn't want to. Now, they don't because he's that weird, high-risk kid. Like out of all things that people could give him, Alex totally needed distance. Perhaps that was the reason he'd become this way.

Alex never complained though, he kind of enjoyed being alone. Or at least, got used to it.

~  
The day passed in what seemed to be a noisy, mundane blur, and before Alex knew it, he was walking through his front door. At least the warmth was welcoming. Today was average, nobody else gave him trouble, besides some dickwad who thought paper planes with crude notes are acceptable in 11th grade. But Alex just let it happen. He didn't even bother to protest anymore, because it just caused a bigger scene than if he sat there and did nothing, as fucked up as that was.

Alex pulled open the fridge, raiding it for any source of junk. He didn't hear his mother slip in the room behind him.

"Where did you go to so early this morning, Alexander? Your Father and I were concerned when woke up and you were gone." Isobel started, heavy Essex accent still present rather strongly, suspicious tone under her voice. She eyed her young son up and down, checking for any weird signs of behaviour the doctor warned about, but eased her expression slightly when she saw nothing.

Alex shrugged, "Nowhere really. Woke up early, went for a walk and grabbed coffee. Somehow still managed to be late though." He added with a light laugh, but when he saw his mother still looking at him with a stern face, Alex's chuckle died off as if it was never even there.

"Well, in future, me and your father would like you to leave when you're supposed to. None of this wandering the streets so early in the morning alone. God forbid somebody catch sight of that, it would reflect badly on us."

"On you." Alex bit back. He knew that wouldn't help anything.

Alex grabbed his food, stepping past his mother and up the stairs.

And that's enough social interaction for one day.


	5. Chapter 5

"It's not good enough, Alexander!" His father yelled, slamming his fist onto the kitchen table furiously. "My only son is not going to be a failure, you are going to bring this family a good name. Is that clear?" And Alex's mother just sat by and watched as her only child got torn into by her husband, not a care in the world.  
Alex nodded, tears and hurt in his eyes. It was all threatening to break him.

"I'm sick of having this discussion with you, boy. You've got a bad attitude, like you assume you're on some level playing field with me and your mother. You are a child, our child, and you will do as you're told, is that clear?" He questioned fiercely, watching nonchalantly as his son trembled in front of him, nodding silently whilst the tears threatened to fall from his dark eyes. Gone were the days of them holding innocence and happiness. All Alex wanted was a hug from his parents, to be told that they love him and that they couldn't be prouder. The worst part was that this all came from nowhere, their son was going at a successful standard, but it seemed like everything had to be perfect.

"You can leave now." His mother said simply, turning and leaving her chair.

Alex stood on shaking legs, turning on his heels and trudging up the staircase to his room. He couldn't do this anymore, he needed quiet, needed away. The broken, sobbing teenager stepped into his on-suite, heading straight for the cabinet above his sink. Alex had been prescribed Valium a long time ago, when he started having problems sleeping. Fancy that, 16, and on a drug like that.

Alex stared at the small, white bottle, and without a single doubt in his mind, he emptied 6 of the pills into his trembling hand. Alex swallowed them down with icy water from the tap, and went to lean against the door, he prayed nobody came in now. Alex was doing his best at holding back the sobs raking through his body. He wasn't sure how long he'd been standing there, but it felt like forever. A sheen of sweat quickly started to gather on Alex's body, yet chills coursing through him at the same time. There was a sharp pain that stabbed through his abdomen, sending Alex to his knees, clutching his stomach in agony. That was where things became hazy. The teen's vision blurred and blackened, Alex reached to grip the sink before he hit the hard, unforgiving tiles below, knocking the boy out cold...

~

Alex woke in a cold sweat, panting heavily and his head spinning in the darkness. Quite sobs rattled through his entire body, jolting him back and forth as he shook his head. Nightmares and panic attacks had been occurring at least ever second or third night, since the incident, and it was killing Alex. Thought his parents didn't have a clue. It's just another excuse for more medication, and that was the last thing Alex wanted.

Alex pulled himself from the soaking bed sheets, feeling them peel from his body. His back was drenched. He stepped into the bathroom and flicked on the light, taking a glance in the mirror.

"I look so fucked."

Alex's fluffy, caramel hair was stood up in all directions, matted and wet, and his brown eyes were red and puffy from crying in his sleep. He stripped out of his sweat soaked clothes, and hopped into the shower. Warm water hit Alex's back, and help ease some of the tension and cool him down. He was sick of doing this, it's not normal for a 17 year old to have night terrors and fear sleeping. Alex never woke up feeling rested anymore, and it was ruining him.

~  
The large door opened to slightly more dressed up Jack at Alex's therapy session the next day. His was wearing a full suit, which was bizarre to see. His tie was loosely hanging around his neck though, and he somehow managed to make black chucks look good with a suit, Alex had never seen that before. Casually formal.

The young boy would've drawn attention to the matter, maybe even cracked some joke, if he had actually slept last night. After his nightmare, Alex was wide awake for the rest of the night. Tossing and turning, until he eventually gave up, and did some writing. Luckily, school had broken up last Friday, so there was nothing to be up early for over the next few weeks. Christmas holidays were awesome.

Alex huffed as stepped past the therapist, not bothering to greet Jack, rubbing his sore eyes with the palms of his hands. There was an ever-growing temptation to throw his aching body onto the couch in Jack's office, but he knew it'd be in appropriate. Instead, he just slumped into it and closed his eyes.

"Bad day?" Jack asked, taking his seat in front of Alex. There was a genuine concern in his question.

Alex shrugged, "Barely slept."

Jack hummed, pulling out a notepad from his pocket and copying it down. That kind of irritated Alex, he didn't like the idea of people keeping track on him. "Is this a regular occurrence?"

Alex answered with another raise and drop of his shoulders, not bothering to look up at Jack, or even dignify the older man with a verbal response. He really couldn't do with being here today, it was already antagonising him, for unknown reason. Alex just didn't seem to care about how rude he was coming across.

Jack sighed, and silently contemplated something for a moment. He got up from his couch and sat next to Alex, something highly unprofessional on his part, but he didn't really care. He had taken a fondness to this quiet, blonde teenager. Jack wanted to know about him, and saw this as a challenge, getting Alex to open up.

"Alex, you've gotta talk to me, or I can't help you." Jack almost breathed, more to himself than to the other, resisting a temptation to put his arm around the other, like he would a friend. But Alex wasn't a friend, he was a patient, and it wasn't ethical. Alex still refused to acknowledge him, eyes closed, leaning back on the couch with a troubled look on his soft face. Somebody that young shouldn't be holding such a look of anguish, and it saddened Jack.

The two sat in silence for a few minutes, and Jack was unsure of what to do. He was against pushing patients to open up unless they were ready. He knew Alex would come around in his own time, but how long would it take?

After some time, Alex finally spoke.

"I don't want to be here."


	6. Chapter 6

"I don't want to be here."

That was something Jack definitely hated to hear, even more so from somebody as young as Alex. He could see the boy trembling, on the verge of tears. Jack went to outstretch his arm, pull the younger into a hug, maybe comfort him, as odd as it was to do for him considering his role here. But all he got back was a venom filled response.

"Don't touch me." And Alex slid sideways, escaping the therapist's attempt to console him.

Ouch. It's like the shy teenager Jack had coffee with the week before had been swallowed up by some bitter...well, asshole. Jack understood the 17 year old had definitely seen some terrible times, but you have to at least try and fix your problems, or they'll take hold of the reigns and you'll never get your life back. Alex was just pushing away the ones who wanted to help. He couldn't deny that he was getting frustrated with the younger male, it was like Jack was getting nowhere incredibly slowly.

"I'm not forcing you to be here, you know. You can leave, if you really want to." And at that Alex lifted his head and stared at Jack. "I mean, your parents will be on your back about it 24/7, and will just insist on sending you somewhere else. There's no use in pushing away treatment, Alex. You'll just keep reaching the same part in the story where you try to end your life and maybe this time, you'll be successful. I know it wasn't an accident, Alex."

And at that, the blonde flinched.

Jack continued though, words getting carrying a tinge of spite now. "This is all for you, to help you turn your life around and get better. I'm here to help, I'm not your enemy. You need to stop acting like a spoilt child and let your walls down, there's nobody to hide from."

It took a few seconds for those words to sink into the young boy, and it seemed his expressions mixed from complete shock, to vulnerable, to resentful. And then he stood from the seat, which made Jack slightly nervous, because he had no idea what was going to happen next. He knew he was regretting his words though, he went completely against the rule book, and his morals.

"You don't know shit." Alex spat, and pushed past the older man.

"Alex wait-" Jack sighed, ready to apologise.

"Fuck you, Jack." And with that, he was gone.


	7. Chapter 7

Jack's door slammed, rattling the blinds and shaking the room. He groaned, falling with exhaustion into his chair, head falling in his hands. That had never happened before, nobody had ever shown quite so much resilience and unwillingness to open up to him before. Some were harder than others, but none seemed to dislike Jack quite the way Alex did. The therapist assumed things were making progress after the previous week. Jack learned about what the teenager liked, got to know him a little in their first session, and when they had coffee, they had a laugh and fooled around. Now it seemed like the boy who was just in his office was another person entirely.

Jack was already starting to feel guilty. Only the second session and his patient had stormed out on him. Jack knew his words had been completely inappropriate and quite harsh, and it was definitely no way to handle this type of situation. Sometimes his emotions just took over, making him irrational. He wouldn't be surprised if Alex didn't show up anymore and found somewhere else to go for help.

It just frustrated Jack, because all he wanted to do was help the younger. He was quite unsure of why he cared so much, more than he normally did about his patients. It's like he wanted to heal Alex, make him better and give him the happiness that the teenager was entitled to. Alex was far too cynical and pessimistic for somebody his age, no seventeen year old should have such a bitter outlook on life. It's like he thought everybody had a bone to pick with him, so the teen isolated himself completely to keep from any further pain. It was quite heart wrenching to see. Jack sighed to himself.

"I'm going to make this work."  
~  
Alex was furious. The teen's blood boiled, and he saw red. How fucking dare a stranger speak to him like that? Jack didn't know shit, and he certainly wouldn't ever now. It wouldn't concern Alex if he never saw the asshole again. The enraged male bolted up the steps and into his room, making it known to anybody home that he was enraged by slamming the door obnoxiously loudly. He leaned back on it, taking a deep breath and rubbing his tired, aching eyes. Alex slowly slid into a sitting position, sitting quietly to try and cool off. After a few minutes, his heavy eyelids started to fall shut.

It was dark when Alex woke. And it wasn't a pleasant awakening. Not only was he still exhausted, but he was pulled out of his slumber by the sound of somebody knocking on the door behind him, and attempting to push it open, knocking him forward in the process.

"Alex, why are you on the floor?" The boy's father asked, raising an eyebrow. Great. The last thing Alex needed was his parents suspicious, and on his case.

"Fell asleep." He mumbled, not bothering to meet his father's eye.

"Well, your mother and I received a call from Dr. Barakat's office today. He told me today didn't go so well, but he would like to reschedule for tomorrow. He thinks it's important for your recovery to maybe even do two sessions a week."

Alex snorted. Not a fucking a chance.

"Well you can tell Dr. Barakat to get fu-." The teenager was about to spit back, but paused when his father scowled at him. "I'm not going." Alex said, getting up onto his aching feet, back popping and cracking as he straightened up. Sleeping in a position like that was really stupid.

"You'll do as you're told, and I'm telling you that you're going. We're not having anymore of this nonsense, you're going to be fixed and it's not up for debate Alex." And with that, his father was gone.

Alex groaned in frustration, slamming his fist into the wall, the plaster cracking. Kicks followed swiftly, as did his rise in temper. Curses and incoherent threats fell from Alex's lips as his foot laid into the wall rapidly.

One, two, three.

Bang.

Alex's foot went straight through the wall, wood cracking around his high-tops. White flakes of paint and whatever else fell from the impact, scattering around him. He was past the point of feeling anything other than anger though, including pain. But as Alex stood there, almost panting, he noticed blood starting to pool on his knuckles. Fuck. Strangely enough, he didn't feel pain. Just white hot rage coursing through him. It didn't look majorly damaged, but there would certainly be questions about why his hand was wrecked. And the wall. Surely they'd put two and two together.

"You're going to be fixed".

The five words repeated over and over in Alex's head, slashing him on the inside like a blade. He wasn't broken. The boy wasn't even sure if it was a statement, or whether he was asking himself a question.  
He wasn't that damaged, was he?

After minutes of simply standing there, trying to push his father's words out of his mind, the teenager started to cool off. As Alex opened his eyes, the acoustic in the lonely corner of his room caught his gaze. The lonely guitar had been sat there gathering dust for months, it was a sad thing to think about. Alex loved to play, and he missed it terribly. He grabbed the guitar, sitting on his bed with the instrument perched on his lap. It felt like being reunited with a long lost lover as Alex mindlessly struck a few chords, paying slightly more attention when said they actually started having a nice ring to them. He must've been sat there for a good hour and a half, strumming and plucking at the strings, humming along with the melodies he was coming up with. His hand had started to ache dully, blood now dried on in knuckles. Playing didn't seem to help the injury, but Alex wasn't so concerned. The skin on his fingertips began to peel, it'd been a long time since they felt steel, but he almost embraced it. Like falling in love all over again.

Music was pretty much his only form release (unless you can count jacking off), and it's virtually all Alex had. He continued to hum and mumble along with this particular tune, and slowly, lyrics and lines started to form in his mind, writing their own story.


	8. Chapter 8

When Alex awoke the following day, he couldn't deny the awful feeling in his gut. He had to face Jack again. Alex knew he couldn't just leave this time, things would finally have to come out of the woodwork at some point. Nowhere to run today.

Alex ripped the warm, inviting sheets away from his body, almost like pulling off a bandaid, and rolled out of bed. The boy felt strangely well rested, and had actually slept straight through for once, so that was his mood lightened on its own. Alex slipped on his ripped, black jeans, with zips on his thigh, and a grey flannel shirt. It didn't look too cold, from what Alex could see of the outdoors, but he slipped a hoodie on too, just in case. The bitter Baltimore winter was rather unpredictable, and he refused to take any chances.

Alex got ready, ate his breakfast at the slowest pace possible, and regrettably made his way to his mother's car to go to therapy. He slumped down into the passenger side, and Isobel started to drive cautiously along the icy streets. It wasn't hard to have an accident in this weather, one wrong turn or too much power would send you sliding off the road. They had been cruising for close to five minutes, but just as Alex was about to put in his headphones, his mother started to speak.

"Just so you know, you're going to have to find your own way home today. Your father has work, and I'm packing for Philadelphia. The company called and needs me to head to the main branch, there's a very good chance I could be promoted, and we may even move. Isn't that wonderful?"

Alex nodded, feigning interest. "That's pretty cool." Awesome, moving. Again. Because it wasn't bad enough that Alex didn't settle in here, or anywhere else they had live, so let's throw him head first into a completely new environment. Maybe he was being slightly selfish in thinking that way, but he couldn't help wonder if their plans ever involved him coming into consideration. The family had been moved everywhere, across the country and the globe, so it got to the point where the boy didn't even try to settle anymore, because he knew the rug would be torn from under his toes at any second.

His mother hummed contently, and that appeared to be the end of their short lived conversation. Alex eyed the building as they pulled up outside of the office. He said a halfhearted goodbye to his mother, before hopping out of the car and into the cold outdoors. The blonde would rather have been anywhere else right now than here. Not only was it the same dread as usual, but Alex felt rather guilty for the situation yesterday. Yes, Jack had said some cruel things, but Alex had provoked him by being flat out rude and cold. He was going to try harder today, because the older man didn't deserve that.

~  
When the door to Jack's office opened, the therapist was surprised to see Alex stood there. He was even early. It's not like it was anything out of ordinary,, Jack had called his parents last night to reschedule after yesterday's events, but he wasn't sure if Alex would show or not.

"Good morning, Alex."

Alex shuffled his feet, mumbling back a hello, and suddenly taking great interest in his converse. His feathered fringe fell into his eyes, and Alex peaked under it, sneaking a glance at Jack. "Okay, he doesnt look like he hates me, that's a start."

The older man couldn't help but notice how Alex looked a lot like an innocent child at that moment, almost as if he was going to run off and hide from him. He caught the teen's sly gaze, smiling at him warmly. They both hoped this meant no hard feelings.

"Come on in." Jack ushered, stepping aside and letting Alex through. He didn't sit though, just started wandering aimlessly around Jack's office. He watched as the teenager eyed his walls, scanning bookcases and scanning Jack's proudly framed certificates.

"Listen, Alex." Jack started, nervously rubbing the back of his neck. The other turned, his attention perking. Alex actually met his stare clearly this time, any shyness suddenly gone.

"I can't express how sorry I am for what happened yesterday. The fact I'm meant to be helping you get better and I'm saying things like that, it's appalling." And not a syllable if Jack's apology sounded false. But then he smiled.

"I'd like to start over, wipe the slate." The brunette stepped over to Alex, out-stretching a hand. "I'm Jack Barakat, and I'm going to be your therapist over the next few months."

Alex couldn't hide the small smile that etched its way onto his lips as he shook Jack's hand, giving a light squeeze. His stomach fluttered slightly at the skin contact, and Alex couldn't be quite sure why. Jack couldn't help but notice the cuts and reddened skin around Alex's knuckles, and prayed that wasn't a result of yesterday's argument.

"I'm Alex Gaskarth, and I deeply apologise for being a stuck up asshole."

And Alex meant it. He felt that he wanted to try now. To heal, to move on, and to grow as a human being, the seventeen year old knew he'd need Jack's help.

Jack turned to sit, noticing Alex fixated on a photo on the wall.

"That's my older sister, May." Jack commented, smiling at the thought of his family. He missed them. His parents and siblings had moved back to Lebanon a few years ago, and Jack rarely had a chance to visit, be it either because of his busy working schedule, or just a lacking of money. The photo was of May and himself at Jack's graduation, smiling from ear to ear. May never hesitated to brag about her little brother, she would always be proud of Jack.

"She's beautiful." Alex added. "Spitting image of you." And with that, he came and sat across from Jack, now starting to feel slightly nervous again. As if sensing Alex's discomfort, Jack gave him a reassuring smile.

"Okay, so um...how do I start this off?" Alex asked. He'd never actually opened up to anybody about his troubles, and after the awkward start to his treatment, it just made the situation harder.

"We'll focus on the present. How are you feeling today?" Jack asked.

Alex gave a shrug. "Average, I guess. I slept well, for the first time in a while."

"Do you normally have difficulty with sleeping?" Though Jack knew that answer, after Alex was a living corpse when he came in yesterday.

Alex face bore a sour look as he nodded. "Ever since the um, the incident." A few seconds passed, before Jack had the guts to suggest something.

"You're perfectly fine to say no," Jack started, analysing Alex's face and body language as he spoke. "But is it okay if we shone some light on that situation? The more I know, the more I can do to try and help." He was expecting a hostile situation to follow immediately when Alex tensed up, but Jack was shocked when he appeared to consider it.

Alex sighed, repeatedly opening and closing his mouth like a fish out of water, unsure of what to say. It must be an incredibly difficult thing to speak about, especially to somebody who was practically a stranger. "You were right."

Jack cocked his head to the side, confused.

"It wasn't an accident. And you're the first person I've ever admitted that to."


	9. Chapter 9

A deep, pained sigh fell from Alex's lips as he held his head in his hands. He wanted to be strong about this, just be able to say it and get this all out in the open, but it was a terrifying thing to do. Coming terms with the reality that he had in fact tried to end his life, and could've very well been successful if it wasn't for dumb luck and his mother's good timing, it was just dawning on Alex.

He didn't really want to die.

He wanted to be saved.

Jack saw Alex's body starting to tremble, but he was really unsure of what to do in this situation. When he tried to hug the younger yesterday, it ended badly.

"Alex, if you don't wanna do this, it's fin-" Jack started, but Alex protested.

"No, no, it's okay." Alex looked up at Jack, the tears rimming his sad eyes saying otherwise. Jack was proud of the fact that Alex was trying to be strong and face this head on, but he didn't want the teenager to ruin himself in the process.

"May I ask the reason behind all of this? What led you to that breaking point?" Jack asked softly, not breaking eye contact with Alex once.

"Wow, um, long story, I guess. Everything just piled too high, I couldn't take it. I feel-" Alex slipped up then. "Felt, as if nobody even saw me anymore. Unappreciated, forgotten, ignored." His voice started to crack now as he explained everything, without missing a single detail. Alex spoke about his school life, the constant moving, and the fact he's never really felt close to anybody, friends or family. Fingers were picking at the couch yet again, pulling threads of material up, but Jack didn't mind. His knees were bouncing up and down, eyes darting around the room and to anywhere that wasn't Jack. It was clear to see he was distressed.

"I guess the last push was when I came home from school one day. I'd gotten a B on my algebra exam, which I thought was awesome, but my father tore me down for it. He treated me like a failure, and my mom just stood there and watched. So I stopped trying, because I felt it wouldn't make a difference anyway, and now I'm failing school. Nothing I've done has ever been good enough in my parents' eyes." Alex paused, trying to gain composure, but he knew the effect this was going to have on him. His vision was blurry through misty eyes, but he could make out Jack, and saw the man was still listening intently.

"I just feel like they wouldn't even care if I was gone, to be honest. I'm an accessory to the illusion of their perfect life. So I went upstairs, and I got my sleeping pills, and I-...I-" Tears were freely falling now, but Alex didn't bother to wipe them away. He looked up hopefully at Jack, trying to finish, but his words just refused to come out.

Without even thinking, the Jack got up and pulled the broken boy into a hug, putting all worries aside. And this time, Alex needed it, more than he realised. He gripped onto Jack's jacket, pulling him as close as possible. Alex had broken the dam now, and he couldn't stop himself from sobbing into Jack's neck.

Jack held him tight, and to his surprise, it wasn't awkward hugging the teenager. He almost felt obliged to look after Alex. He smoothed back the caramel hair, trying to sooth the other. The brief thought of wanting to do this regularly flashed through Jack's mind, to keep Alex safe, and happy, but he shook it away.

That's just weird.

After a little while, Alex's sobs slowed, until all that could be heard was the occasional sniffle. The blonde was the first to break the silence, with timid words that really saddened Jack.

"Therapy is about every kids worst nightmare, y'know? When everybody's telling you that you need to get help, but all you really want is a hug."

Jack rubbed his shoulders, squeezing him tightly. "Well, I can give you both."

Alex smiled, and it was with genuine happiness, as few butterflies fluttered around in his stomach. "Thank you, Jack."

Jack gave him a squeeze, then let go. There was a sweet look painted in Alex's soft face, behind the tear stained cheeks and puffy eyes. Jack couldn't help but notice how honestly gorgeous this boy was. Hair that framed his face perfectly. Chocolate, almond eyes that had seen far too much trouble. And that smile, though rare to see in it's true form, could light up a room on the rainiest days.

He realised the young boy was staring up at him, and cleared his throat. "I hope you realise that you've made enormous progress already, just from today's session and by coming to terms with what happened. It's hard, it's hurts, but you're already putting it behind you." Jack said.

"It does feel a little better, knowing I've got that off my chest. I feel I can really trust you though." Alex replied, pausing for a minute. "I'm sorry for breaking down on you like that, I've just never told anybody the truth. I stuck to the story of it all being an accident, and completely closed myself off from everybody."

Jack smiled at the fact the teenager held trust in him, but he was also slightly shocked. He did have his doubts about their progress, but it seemed to finally be falling into place. Jack glanced at the clock, realising there was only five minutes left of their session. That flew by.

"Time to go?" Alex asked, as if saddened by that. He couldn't help but enjoy Jack's company at the moment.

Jack nodded, walking Alex out. The twenty-six year old almost didn't want to return home, to his small, empty apartment. He hated to admit it, but he was quite a lonely person. Jack's tenant didn't even allow pets, so he was all by himself, and he didn't really have any friends. All that was waiting at home was his guitar. Over the past few weeks, Jack had become determined to start playing more, and designated as much time as possible to his long lost hobby.

Jack had never come out and said it, but he did sometimes wish he had gone down the music career path, instead of psychology. He adored playing, but it was too late to change now. He constantly wondered what it would be like to play to thousands of people, to walk down the street and be recognised, and to hear your own music on the radio. Jack sighed regretfully at the thought, as he and Alex walked out.

The two males reached the front of the building. There was a small groan that escaped Alex's lips, when he realised he had to walk an hour and a half home. Jack picked up on it, raising an eyebrow to the boy.

Alex caught the look. "My mom won't come get me, so I've gotta walk."

"Ah, that sucks." Jack nodded. He wanted to offer Alex a ride, but he just knew it would be far too inappropriate in his position. Even worse if somebody saw.

The two stood there for a moment, before Alex stepped forward, taking Jack by surprise when he pulled the older man into a hug.

A warm smile spread across Jack's face when there was a mumbled "Thank you" into his neck, and he squeezed the boy tight. He couldn't help but notice how nice it felt to hug Alex.

"Get home safe, okay?" Jack said as they pulled apart. Alex nodded, flashing him a sweet smile, before turning to set off down the street.

As Jack began the short walk to his car, he couldn't help but feel guilty over not offering Alex a lift, and letting him walk in this weather. And when it started to rain, rather heavily, he shook his head. "I can't let him walk all that way in this, he'll get hypothermia."

Jack drove slowly down the street, trying to peer through the wet windscreen. He made out Alex, drenched from head to toe, not even attempting to speed up, he was already soaked through. Jack slowed next to the boy, letting down the window. Alex peered to the left, seeing Jack and smiling.

"Hop in!" Jack yelled, pushing the passenger door open. Alex jogged and quickly sat inside the car, slamming the door shut.

"Thank you." He said through chattering teeth. Alex was completely drenched, shivering and all.

"There's a jacket in the back, put that on before you freeze to death." Jack chuckled, rounding the corner. Alex nodded, climbing over the seat to search for the jacket. Jack's eyes betrayed him then, and couldn't help but take a peak at the teen's backside, sticking up in the air and wiggling slightly as he hunted around. Jack quickly averted his eyes when Alex sat back down, throwing the suit jacket around his trembling shoulders.

They'd been driving along for about 5 minutes, quietly, when Alex's stomach gave a rumble from the passenger seat. It reminded Jack of how hungry he was himself, he hadn't actually eaten today.

"Wanna grab something to eat?" Jack asked, glancing over at Alex, who had started to warm up. It was pretty adorable seeing the teenager wrapped in a suit that was a few sizes too big for him.

Alex shook his head, but his stomach betrayed his attempt at lying, by giving a much louder growl than before. Jack smirked, turning at the next intersection. "Food it is!"


	10. Chapter 10

"You don't have to do this, y'know." Alex mumbled, peaking from behind his menu, fixing a glare on the other man. The two were sat in a relatively nice restaurant. It was considered average in Jack's eyes, yet borderline 5 star in Alex's. He had never really been anywhere like this to eat, never mind have somebody else pay for him.

"I don't have to, but we're both hungry, it's pissing it down, and I know I've got nothing planned. So why not?" Jack laughed, flashing a smile at the eyes of the teenager, still peering over the lunch menu. Alex still hadn't taken Jack's jacket off, and it was quite amusing to see. The rain had made the teen's hair dry all wavy, poofing out around his face. He raised his eyebrow at the boy, curious as to why he was hiding his face.

"So, what do you want?" Jack asked, scanning the options, the all day breakfast catching his eye. Alex shrugged.

"Whatever's cheapest."

Jack rolled his eyes. He instantly searched for the most expensive meal on the menu, smirking to himself. "So, smoked salmon or sirloin steak?"

Alex scowled, kicking the older man under the table. He knew trying to get out of it wouldn't work, so he sighed and took a look at what there was.

"That bacon double cheeseburger looks pretty good." Alex offered up hesitently, fearing the offer of Jack paying would be withdrawn any second. But Jack nodded, his lips turning up in a smile with a content hum. He called the waiter over. The middle aged man smiled down at the two, with a polite, "What can I get you gentlemen today?" But it was clear to see the place was slammed due to the monsoon outside, and the poor guy had had enough.

"I'll grab the big breakfast with sourdough toast, eggs scrambled, and the salmon, fried tomatoes, and bacon on the side. Corona too, if you have it."

At that, a faint smirk crept onto Alex's face with a raise of his eyebrow, and Jack changed his order to an orange juice, realizing he was the responsible adult and all. Alex ordered his burger reluctantly, insisting on a glass of water until Jack asked for a coke for regardless, silencing the teenager.

The waiter jotted it down onto his notepad, before smiling and hurrying off to another table. A silence settled over the men, who were both unsure of what to say. It wasn't every day a therapist took his patient to lunch.

Or ever.

Alex cleared his throat, scratching the back of his neck. He could feel Jack's eyes on him, but for some strange reason, he didn't want to meet them. Somehow this was far easier when they had coffee together, perhaps because the boy hadn't yet opened up to Jack. What was even an appropriate to topic between the two? Small talk can only go so far, and some things were better left in the office. His thoughts were interrupted though, Alex jumping when something came in contact with his foot from under the table.

"Sorry, kicking again." Jack muttered, inching his chair back slightly with a squeak. The two continued to sit quietly, waiting for their meal, until Alex bit the bullet and broke the silence.

"So um. Any plans for Christmas?" Alex asked quietly, hair falling into his face.

That was a good point. Did Jack have any plans?

"Huh. No, actually. I was asked to host a lecture at my old University a while back, which was exciting. Never heard back about it though. But I think now, holidays just melt into the rest of the year. My family can't afford to fly over and see me, and vice versa." The thought made the older man feel quite sad. He missed his family so much, it's been hard since they all moved away. Jack's mother used to call him almost every day, now he's lucky to hear from her once a fortnight. Out of sight, out of mind. The silent apartment that he went home to was everything but welcoming, it was the first place that Jack had ever lived in alone. No matter what he did, the place felt bare, lacking his Mother's warm touch in decoration, or even the smell of her cooking.

Maybe he could get a fish.

Alex hummed in response, pulling Jack out of his brooding. "Girlfriend?"

And at that, Jack laughed, almost bitterly, before shaking his head. Any woman crazy enough to give him a chance ended up getting sick of Jack's enormous workload. His papers followed him home every day, and Jack gave up on the idea a long time ago.

"Don't go there. How about you?" Jack asked, looking over at the other boy, who responded with a nonchalant shrug.

"Me, girlfriend? You're joking right?" Alex scoffed.

"I meant plans for the holidays, but I don't see what's so shocking about that."

Alex reddened slightly at that, sinking into his chair a little. Then he remembered his ride with his mom this morning.

"Pretty sure my parents are away for work or something. There's always some sort of issue and I end up being left home alone. I suppose I'm used to it now, just gets boring."

"Hey, if Kevin McAllister can get by, so can you." Jack grinned.

"Wow, really? Wouldn't have taken a University graduate to be a Home Alone fan."

"It's a good movie!" Jack chuckled. "Sue me, I guess I never grew up." With that, the glimmer in Alex's eyes faltered.

"It's overrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I AM BAAAACK
> 
> ...After a year and a half. I must admit, the fate of this story was looking very grim, until the lovely commenter Sarah asked for more. Couldn't help it, I do really like this story and had high hopes for it.
> 
> Year 12 is on right now, along with my very demanding job (I became a barista last year and I loooove it!), lotsa hours, lots to do. So updates may be weekly to fortnightly, but I shall do my best!


	11. Chapter 11

Jack pulled over, slowing to a stop. The heavy rain pelted down mercilessly onto his black four-wheel drive, filling a lonely silence as the older man drove Alex home. It was a 30 minute drive from the city to Alex's quaint suburb, and the teen was passed out in the passenger seat, wrapped in Jack's Armani suit jacket. His knees were tucked up to his chin, and by the now, hopefully he and the costly jacket were dry after being caught in the downpour earlier. The teenager's beat-up, damp converse were mounted comfortably underneath his chin. On the very expensive leather seats of my very expensive car, Jack thought, grimacing slightly. Though, sometimes Jack would've preferred an alternate career choice, his current salary was extremely comfortable for a guy in his mid-twenties. He loved his car.

Looking over at the boy, Jack couldn't find it in himself to ask Alex to take his feet down. Only now did he realise that he had to actually wake the teen up. He unclipped his seatbelt, leather squeaking underneath him as he shifted forward, pondering a way to rouse him nicely. Jack almost felt guilty. In light of what Alex told him of his sleep troubles, the blonde boy was out like a dream. He hadn't made a sound for almost the entire trip. Jack remained still, listening to the faint, soft breathing, watched Alex's chest rise and fall slowly, and wondered what the boy, his patient, was dreaming about.

You can't fix him.

Just as Jack reaches his arm out, Alex stirrs and inhales deeply, eyes fluttering. Gradually, the blonde's face twists into a scowl as his still-tired eyes open.

"What th-...Oh, hey." He says, voice husky.

Jack smiled over at him. "You told me the area, but not the house number." He gestured to the empty street, everybody probably huddled inside seeking warmth. It was hard to actually see anything through the thick haze outside, but Alex searched around. "White one on the end." He muttered, before turning his body slightly to rest his head against the window. He looked strangely sad, yet Jack couldn't imagine what was eating the kid. Lunch had been quite laid back, Jack getting to know a bit more about Alex's childhood. Turns out the teenager was originally from the UK, which Jack wouldn't have noticed.

Regardless, he pulled up outside the house, taking note of the size. Not many people had double-story houses these days, and this one really fit the "American Dream" stereotype, white picket fence and all. Alex undid his seatbelt, yet made no move to get out of the car. He just started blankly at the house. No emotion was written on his face, and that intrigued Jack.

"You really don't wanna go in there, do you? He asked. To that, Alex merely shrugged, his gloomy, solemn face revealing nothing.

Before he hopped out into the unforgiving cold, Alex wriggled out of the other man's jacket. "Thank you, I really appreciated lunch."

With a soft slam of the door, Alex jogged to his front porch, covering his hair with both hands, before he disappeared into the white house.

Jack sat there for a few moments, before starting to car and pulling out of the driveway. Luckily Alex's parents were out, otherwise there would be some awkward questions as to why he was home hours after their session, and had been driven by Jack of all people. He couldn't have made the teen walk that far, even the bus stop was a good 20 minutes from Jack's practise. The damn kid would get hypothermia.

Showers of hail began to rain down outside now, thick, grey clouds looming above Baltimore and casting it in darkness. The winter wonderland phase of the season had disappeared, with harsh winds tearing through everyone and everything in sight.

It took what seemed like forever for Jack to be walking through his front door and out of the cold. The first thing on his mind was cranking the central heating on full and warming his numb feet up over the vents. Still after so long, the place felt so bare. He'd always hated white walls, and it seemed like everywhere he went, Jack was surrounded by them, especially at work. The landlord didn't even allow adhesives, meaning no posters on the walls. 26 years old, and he still has all his band posters from his teens.

The man loosened his tie, kicked off his shoes, and pulled a beer from the fridge. A six-pack, butter, and sliced cheese was all he had right now, and Jack decided he really needed to go grocery shopping tomorrow. He shrugged, and turned to go slump on the couch, throwing his aching feet up onto the plush leather and resting his head back. Jack let out a deep sigh and closed his eyes.

Tomorrow was going to be a long day.

*

Alex scrunched up his face at the math problem in front of him, sighing in frustration. He had missed a huge chunk of the area study whilst he was away in hospital recovering, and the list of holiday homework was merciless. Alex tried, he really did, but he just lost patience far too easily when it came to school work. He almost felt guilty, him and his teachers all knowing he had potential, just not the drive to fulfill it. He tossed the book to the floor, slumping back onto his bed in defeat. The frame squeaked under his weight, and Alex realised he had grown far too tall and far too heavy for the ancient twin bed. That thing had seen almost every Gaskarth home, nearly being as old the boy himself.

Alex stared up at the ceiling. His parents went away tomorrow. A whole 2 weeks of no company, and yet another lonely Christmas. He didn't even have any family in the area to come visit, not that he would've heard from them anyway. Alex had always been a black sheep of sorts in the family, none of his relatives ever daring to make a connection with the boy. He wasn't sure why; Perhaps he was to blame, just being hard to bond with, or maybe the success of his parents had shut everybody else out. The entire family envied them.

Today was a somewhat nice surprise, Alex thought to himself. As odd as it was to grab lunch with your freakin' head doctor, it really did beat being confined to the house like he normally was. Alex's main problem was that he had no friends to do that kind of stuff with, and it sure wasn't nearly as interesting to dine at a restaurant alone. And the girlfriend issue was a touchy subject; He'd only ever had one.

Alex and Lisa had dated for about 2 months, and he really, really liked the girl. He even brought her home to his parents, who absolutely adored the girl with the angelic smile and sweet eyes, like butter wouldn't melt. Alex really began to fall for her, and she had played him like a fool. The relationship came to an abrupt end when one of Lisa's friends took pity on Alex, and confessed that Lisa had only been dating him to boost her own failing grades. Behind his back, she was making a complete mockery of the boy. Alex snorted to himself. Back when I actually had grades that were something to be proud of. Turns out the entire school was in on it, and Alex was hurt by that the most. Fortunately, the Gaskarth's moved state about half a year later.

And everybody wondered why Alex was so messed up.


End file.
